Postgame Witch Trial

Yesterday, one of the more obscene spectacles in American Television culture took place right here in Miami and at halftime, Jennifer Lopez and Shakira took center stage at Hard Rock stadium, whereupon a tinderbox of moral outrage exploded on Twitter from self-appointed arbiters of decorum in America, decrying the impiousness of these two half breeds who dared to expose the innocent gaze of our children to their depraved, pornographic instincts.

Imbued with the spirit of the rottenest and misogynistic ravings of the father of Protestantism, John Knox, Billy Graham’s son, Franklin, appealed to “a sense of moral decency on prime time TV” to “protect” America’s children from the traumatic experience of seeing a beautiful, caramel-skin woman dance on a pole. Yet another neo-Calvinist wonk from a notoriously right wing media outlet chimed in with a particularly galling take. Jon Miller, the African-American host of Blaze TV’s “White House Brief” took offense at the unfurling of a Puerto Rican flag before lamenting the “R-rated” tastes of his nation’s changing demographic.

Anyone who has watched 5 minutes of American prime time TV knows it is one of the vilest spaces of on-screen entertainment in the world. From a seemingly endless stream of procedural crime shows, that detail and obsess over the most gruesome murder scenes their writers can come up with, to the awful reality of dating shows like The Bachelor, where a dozen or so women make themselves sexually available to the same man as part of a trite, commercialized bastardization of human mating rituals, the patented thrust to package and sell every last drop of titillating content is the most American of traditions.

Being the snake oil salesmen that they are, neither Miller or Graham are doing anything other than marketing to their own “demo” through these ridiculous remarks on social media, just as Pepsi and Netflix (producers of J Lo’s pole-dancing stripper movie, “Hustlers”) we’re doing in last night’s otherwise unremarkable show.

The American entertainment industry’s production values are among the best in the world, but  the psychotic scripts and fake blood packets of any given TV show cannot begin to compare to the literal massacre of people, specifically children, by the guns these same two moral giants have infamously defended as a God-given right and the highest expression of American freedom.

So, if it comes down to making a “moral” choice between two people who condone and encourage an ideology that leads to the mass murder of men, women and children in our schools, parks and workplaces, and two scantily-clad ladies showcasing their talent and sensuality during a half-hour commercial, then the choice transcends the self-serving marketing sludge from which they plucked their race-baiting, anti-immigrant, self-serving, Trumpian rhetoric.

One truly does occupy the moral high ground. J-Lo’s fine 50-year old ass was perched right on it last night and both the preacher and the anchorman should take a knee in front of their 65-inch flat screen TV and kiss it.

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